Cease-Fire Between Israel and Hamas Takes Effect





CAIRO — Israel and Hamas agreed to a cease-fire on Wednesday, the eighth day of lethal fighting over the Gaza Strip, the United States and Egypt said after intensive negotiations in Cairo.




The cease-fire, which took effect at 9 p.m. local time (2 p.m. E.S.T.), was formally announced by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Foreign Minister Mohamed Amr of Egypt at a news conference here. The agreement was aimed at quieting an escalating aerial battle between Palestinians and Israelis that had threatened to turn into an Israeli ground invasion of Gaza.


Whether the cease-fire could hold was uncertain at best, and even in the minutes leading up to the effective start time, both sides were firing at each other. But as 9 p.m. came and went, Gazans wary of more Israeli bombs ventured outside in jubilation.


“This is a critical moment for the region,” Mrs. Clinton, who rushed to the Middle East late Tuesday in an intensified effort to halt the hostilities, told reporters in Cairo. She thanked Egypt’s president, Mohamed Morsi, who played a pivotal role in the negotiations, for “assuming the leadership that has long made this country a cornerstone of regional stability and peace.”


Mrs. Clinton also pledged to work “with our partners across the region to consolidate this progress, improve conditions for the people of Gaza, provide security for the people of Israel.”


Mr. Amr said Egypt’s role in reaching the agreement reflected its “historical commitment to the Palestinian cause” and Egypt’s efforts to “bring together the gap between the Palestinian factions.”


The top leader of Hamas, Khaled Meshal, also had strong words of praise for Mr. Morsi, whose Muslim Brotherhood roots are shared by Hamas, the militant group that governs Gaza and does not recognize Israel’s right to exist. At a news conference in Cairo, Mr. Meshal thanked Egypt for its role and said Israel had “failed in all its objectives.”


The negotiators reached an agreement after days of nearly nonstop Israeli aerial assaults on Gaza, the Mediterranean enclave run by Hamas, the militant Islamist group, and the firing of hundreds of rockets into Israel from an arsenal Hamas had been amassing since the the three-week Israeli invasion four years ago.


Under the terms distributed after the news conference, Israel agreed to stop all land, sea and air hostilities in Gaza, including the “targeting of individuals” — a reference to militants of Hamas and its affiliates who have been killed. The cease-fire also calls on the Palestinian factions in Gaza to stop all hostilities against Israel, including rocket attacks and attacks along the border.


The agreement came despite a bus bombing in Tel Aviv earlier in the day, which Hamas and other Palestinian militant groups had applauded. Also complicating the path to the cease-fire were Israeli strikes overnight on Gaza.


It was unclear how the agreement would be enforced, but the terms stated that “each party shall commit itself not to perform any acts that would breach this understanding.”


Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, who had been threatening to start another ground invasion if the Gaza rockets did not stop, said in a statement that he was satisfied, for the moment, with the outcome. But he left open the possibility of more military action.


The statement issued by his office said Mr. Netanyahu had spoken with President Obama and “responded positively to his recommendation to give a chance to the Egyptian proposal for a cease-fire and to allow an opportunity to stabilize the situation and to calm it down before there is a need to use much greater force.”


An agreement had been on the verge of completion on Tuesday, but was delayed over a number of issues, including Hamas’s demands for unfettered access to Gaza via the Rafah crossing into Egypt and other steps that would ease Israel’s economic and border control over other aspects of life for the more than one million Palestinian residents of Gaza, which Israel vacated in 2005 after 38 years of occupation.


The Hamas Health Ministry in Gaza said the Palestinian death toll after a week of fighting stood at 140 at noon. At least a third of those killed are believed to have been militants. On the Israeli side, five Israelis have been killed, including one soldier.


David D. Kirkpatrick reported from Cairo, Ethan Bronner from Jerusalem and Rick Gladstone from New York. Reporting was contributed by Jodi Rudoren and Fares Akram from Gaza, Isabel Kershner from Jerusalem, Alan Cowell from London, Andrea Bruce from Rafah and Christine Hauser from New York.



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Nintendo’s Wii U: First Impressions
















GamePad


The Wii U GamePad has a 6.2-inch touchscreen.


Click here to view this gallery.













[More from Mashable: Meet the Super Fan Who Waited in Line for a Month for a Wii U [VIDEO]]


Nintendo‘s newest console has only been available for one day, but that’s still enough time for early-bird consumers to get their hands on the Wii U, and test out its features and games.


We spent the last 24 hours playing with the Wii U, and have organized our early thoughts on the system. Read on if you’re on the fence about buying one.


[More from Mashable: Toys ‘R’ Us Says Wii U Pre-Order Shipments May Be Delayed]


Out of the Box


Setting up the Wii U is easy, but installing the software is more of a process. Nintendo issued a day-one patch to activate features such as MiiVerse, the company’s social features; this means users will spend between one to three hours (depending on connection speed) downloading and installing a patch that bricks their system. Not a great way to greet consumers excited to play your games. But there’s a chance that servers won’t be as busy in the coming weeks, so download times may improve. Each game I inserted had its own patch too, which users have to install on the second playthrough.


After getting through the patch, user still face an involved setup. They have to create their Mii avatar before they start playing, and create a Nintendo Network ID for network play. Users must also set up the GamePad’s universal remote functionality, which is thankfully the easiest part of the process. They only have to pick their TV manufacturer (the Wii U knows what to do next). The GamePad controls volume, input source and channels.


Look and Feel


The GamePad is the Wii U’s main portal, so users need it to access all the relevant menus (the console shows a different menu from the television); here, users can launch applications by touch. The default view includes apps such as Netflix, Hulu Plus, Amazon Video Services and YouTube; but only Netflix is available now, which seems a bit like false advertising. Loading other options, such as the Nintendo eShop, requires pressing the Home button on the controller, which is unintuitive at first. But soon, the button quickly becomes a handy way to navigate to other parts of the Wii U, like the upcoming Nintendo TVii.


The most troublesome thing about the console is that everything moved slowly; launching games and apps took a long time. I felt like I spent awhile looking at a spinning blue circle.


Wii U games definitely take advantage of the console’s ability to support high-definition graphics. Cartoony games, such as Scribblenauts Unlimited or Nintendo Land look beautiful. For games such as ZombiU, which are supposed to appear more realistic, users might be disappointed. This system is supposed to be the next-generation of gaming consoles — meant to outshine the Xbox 360 — but I can’t say it achieves that.


The GamePad


Pre-launch, Nintendo has spent much of its time crowing about the features of the GamePad, a hybrid touch screen and controller that’s central to the Wii U. The first thing I noticed is its large size; but after spending a few hours with the GamePad, I’ve concluded that it won’t weigh you down like an iPad, yet is substantial enough that it doesn’t feel like a toy (though the glossy finish makes it look like one.)


Unfortunately, the GamePad takes some getting used to as an actual controller, especially for games that require more than simple controls or the gyroscope. My biggest complaint is that Nintendo bucked all gaming-controller tradition by swapping the position of the right analog stick and the four letter buttons. Anyone who has played any other modern console (including Nintendo’s own GameCube) knows instinctively that the analog stick goes below the buttons; but Nintendo flipped them on both the GamePad and the Pro Controller. If the company is only targeting non-gamers, they won’t notice; but this will be a difficult change for many others. Despite this drawback, the buttons, and especially triggers, feel good.


The GamePad is mostly dominated by the 6.2-inch touch screen with a passable resolution: 854 x 480. The most appealing feature of the Wii U — that users can play games or watch movies entirely on the GamePad — may be spoiled for some looking for HD crispness. Still, I watched a whole episode of Portlandia from Netflix on the GamePad, and also spent time playing New Super Mario Bros. U with the television off. Being able to isolate your gameplay to a smaller screen is very novel, and one of my favorite parts of the system.


Games


Nintendo’s Wii U has a better launch lineup coming out, compared to other consoles — but only a few titles stick out. Almost everyone I talked to in line at the Nintendo World store during the Wii U launch wanted New Super Mario Bros. U or ZombiU, both of which are fun titles. Nintendo Land, which is a pack-in if users purchase the Deluxe model, is going to be a huge hit at parties; from what I’ve seen so far, it has some engrossing minigames. I haven’t cracked open Scribblenauts Unlimited yet, but in demos it looks like a very promising title that would go well with a touch screen.


Some non-exclusive titles on other consoles are also appealing. I’m looking forward to digging in to Epic Mickey 2 and Tekken Tag Tournament 2. While the system had 24 launch titles, many more are expected to debut in the coming months.


I plan to spend Thanksgiving week exploring the Wii U, and will write a more detailed report on whether it’s the right console for gamers, families or casual users.


This story originally published on Mashable here.


Gaming News Headlines – Yahoo! News



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Kelly Clarkson: I'm Not Engaged - But Am Waiting for That Ring















11/20/2012 at 03:30 PM EST







Brandon Blackstock and Kelly Clarkson


Rick Diamond/Getty


As hints go, this one wasn't too subtle, seeing as Kelly Clarkson dropped it on national television.

Appearing Tuesday on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the pop star says she isn't engaged to her boyfriend of nine months, Brandon Blackstock, but just give it a little time.

"We are totally going to get married," says Clarkson. "We love each other. We are totally going to get married one day."

She then holds up her hand and says, "I mean, he's got to put a ring on at some point." She adds: "But I'll wait it out."

Asked by DeGeneres what kind of ceremony she envisions, Clarkson, 30, acknowledges, "Honestly I've never been the girl to plan a wedding."

"We will totally, probably elope," she adds.

No matter when the day comes, Clarkson is just enjoying her relationship with the 35-year-old Nashville-based talent manager (who is also the son of Clarkson's own manager), especially during the holidays.

"This is going to sound like I'm making a joke but it is so not. It is serious," she says. "I am not alone for the first time for Thanksgiving and Christmas – and I am very happy."

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New push for most in US to get at least 1 HIV test

WASHINGTON (AP) — There's a new push to make testing for the AIDS virus as common as cholesterol checks.

Americans ages 15 to 64 should get an HIV test at least once — not just people considered at high risk for the virus, an independent panel that sets screening guidelines proposed Monday.

The draft guidelines from the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force are the latest recommendations that aim to make HIV screening simply a routine part of a check-up, something a doctor can order with as little fuss as a cholesterol test or a mammogram. Since 2006, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also has pushed for widespread, routine HIV screening.

Yet not nearly enough people have heeded that call: Of the more than 1.1 million Americans living with HIV, nearly 1 in 5 — almost 240,000 people — don't know it. Not only is their own health at risk without treatment, they could unwittingly be spreading the virus to others.

The updated guidelines will bring this long-simmering issue before doctors and their patients again — emphasizing that public health experts agree on how important it is to test even people who don't think they're at risk, because they could be.

"It allows you to say, 'This is a recommended test that we believe everybody should have. We're not singling you out in any way,'" said task force member Dr. Douglas Owens of Stanford University and the Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System.

And if finalized, the task force guidelines could extend the number of people eligible for an HIV screening without a copay in their doctor's office, as part of free preventive care under the Obama administration's health care law. Under the task force's previous guidelines, only people at increased risk for HIV — which includes gay and bisexual men and injecting drug users — were eligible for that no-copay screening.

There are a number of ways to get tested. If you're having blood drawn for other exams, the doctor can merely add HIV to the list, no extra pokes or swabs needed. Today's rapid tests can cost less than $20 and require just rubbing a swab over the gums, with results ready in as little as 20 minutes. Last summer, the government approved a do-it-yourself at-home version that's selling for about $40.

Free testing is available through various community programs around the country, including a CDC pilot program in drugstores in 24 cities and rural sites.

Monday's proposal also recommends:

—Testing people older and younger than 15-64 if they are at increased risk of HIV infection,

—People at very high risk for HIV infection should be tested at least annually.

—It's not clear how often to retest people at somewhat increased risk, but perhaps every three to five years.

—Women should be tested during each pregnancy, something the task force has long recommended.

The draft guidelines are open for public comment through Dec. 17.

Most of the 50,000 new HIV infections in the U.S. every year are among gay and bisexual men, followed by heterosexual black women.

"We are not doing as well in America with HIV testing as we would like," Dr. Jonathan Mermin, CDC's HIV prevention chief, said Monday.

The CDC recommends at least one routine test for everyone ages 13 to 64, starting two years younger than the task force recommended. That small difference aside, CDC data suggests fewer than half of adults under 65 have been tested.

"It can sometimes be awkward to ask your doctor for an HIV test," Mermin said — the reason that making it routine during any health care encounter could help.

But even though nearly three-fourths of gay and bisexual men with undiagnosed HIV had visited some sort of health provider in the previous year, 48 percent weren't tested for HIV, a recent CDC survey found. Emergency rooms are considered a good spot to catch the undiagnosed, after their illnesses and injuries have been treated, but Mermin said only about 2 percent of ER patients known to be at increased risk were tested while there.

Mermin calls that "a tragedy. It's a missed opportunity."

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Wall Street sags after Bernanke's "fiscal cliff" comments

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks fell on Tuesday following a two-day rally, after Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said the central bank lacks tools to cushion the economy from the impact of the "fiscal cliff."


Bernanke, in comments before the Economic Club of New York, said the Fed does not have the tools to offset the damage that would result if politicians fail to strike a deal to prevent going off the fiscal cliff. If a solution isn't approved in time, then mandatory tax increases and spending cuts will go into effect early next year.


Bernanke also said he does not believe the possible benefits of cutting the interest it pays on bank reserves are sufficient to outweigh the risk of trouble in money markets.


"This is a more realistic and pragmatic picture of where we are, compared to what we've been hearing for the past couple of days from politicians that are mostly PR stunts," said James Dailey, portfolio manager at TEAM Asset Strategy Fund in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.


Stocks had rallied for the last two sessions on optimism that Washington politicians could agree on a deal to avoid the U.S. fiscal cliff. But the gains followed two weeks of sharp losses.


The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> was down 22.73 points, or 0.18 percent, at 12,773.23. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index <.spx> was down 1.38 points, or 0.10 percent, at 1,385.51. The Nasdaq Composite Index <.ixic> was down 6.49 points, or 0.22 percent, at 2,909.58.


Hewlett-Packard Co shares sank 11.9 percent to a 10-year low at $11.72 as the computer and printer maker swung to a fourth-quarter loss. The company said it took an $8.8 billion charge in the quarter, with $5 billion related to its acquisition of software firm Autonomy, citing "serious accounting improprieties.


Best Buy Co shares fell 12.7 percent to $12 after the consumer electronics retailer reported a net loss of $13 million for the third quarter on weaker-than-expected sales at its established stores.


Another factor weighing on stocks was Moody's Investors Service's reduction of France's sovereign rating by one notch to Aa1 after the market's close on Monday. Moody's cited an uncertain fiscal outlook as a result of the weakening economy.


"This brings forward a whole new set of problems to the euro -zone issue. When the lifeguards, in this case, Germany and France, are in trouble, when they need to save people like Greece and Spain, that could be a big concern," Dailey said.


(Reporting by Angela Moon; Editing by Jan Paschal)


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Truce in Gaza Is Close, Egyptian Officials Say





JERUSALEM — Diplomatic efforts accelerated on Tuesday to end the deadly confrontation between Israel and Palestinian militants in Gaza, as the United States sent Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton to the Middle East and Egypt’s president and his senior aides expressed confidence that a cease-fire was close. But by late evening there was no word on an agreement.




The diplomatic moves to end the nearly week-old crisis came on a day of some of the most intense violence yet, in what appeared to be efforts by the antagonists to get their last attacks done before a cease-fire goes into effect.


Israeli aerial and naval forces assaulted several Gaza targets in multiple strikes, including a suspected rocket-launching site near Al Shifa hospital, which killed more than a dozen people. Those deaths brought the total number of fatalities in Gaza so far to more than 124 — roughly half of them civilians, the Gaza Health Ministry said.


A delegation visiting from the Arab League canceled a news conference at the hospital because of the Israeli aerial assaults as wailing ambulances brought victims in, some of them decapitated.


Militants in Gaza fired a barrage of rockets into southern Israel, killing an Israeli soldier — the first military casualty on the Israeli side since the hostilities broke out last week. The Israel Defense Forces said the soldier, identified as Yosef Fartuk, 18, died from a rocket strike that hit an area near Gaza. Israeli officials said a civilian military contractor working near the Gaza border also was killed, bringing the total number of fatalities in Israel from the past week of rocket mayhem to five.


Other Palestinian rockets hit the southern Israeli cities of Beersheba and Ashdod, and longer-range rockets were fired at Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, but neither main city was struck and no casualties were reported. One Gaza rocket hit a building in the Israeli city of Rishon Lezion, just south of Tel Aviv, injuring one person and wrecking the top three floors.


Senior Egyptian officials in Cairo said Israel and Hamas, the militant Islamist group that governs Gaza, were “very close” to a cease-fire agreement that could be announced within hours. “We have not received final approval but I hope to receive it any moment,” said Essam el-Haddad, President Mohamed Morsi’s top foreign affairs adviser.


Foreign diplomats who were briefed on the outlines of a tentative agreement said it had been structured in stages — first, an announcement of a cease-fire, followed by its implementation for 48 hours. That would allow time for Mrs. Clinton to involve herself in the process on the ground here and create a window for negotiators to agree on conditions for a longer-term cessation of hostilities.


By late evening, however, there was no word on an announcement, and Israeli television was saying the talks needed more time. In Cairo, Egyptian news reports quoted Hamas officials as blaming Israel for delaying a deal and an announcement was unlikely before Wednesday.


The announcement of Mrs. Clinton’s active role in efforts to defuse the crisis added a strong new dimension to the multinational push to avert a new Middle East war. Israel has amassed thousands of soldiers on the border with Gaza and has threatened to invade the crowded Palestinian enclave for the second time in four years to stop the persistent rockets that have been lobbed at Israel.


Mrs. Clinton, who accompanied President Obama on his three-country Asia trip, left Cambodia on her own plane immediately for the Israel, and upon arrival in the late evening went into immediate talks with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.


She was scheduled later to visit the West Bank to meet with Palestinian leaders and finally to Cairo to consult with Egyptian officials.


Mr. Obama made a number of late-night phone calls from his Asian tour to the Middle East on Monday night that contributed to his conclusion that he had to become more engaged and that Mrs. Clinton might be able to accomplish something.


With Ban Ki-moon, the United Nations secretary general, also in Israel on Tuesday, a senior official in Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office said Israel had decided to give more time to diplomacy before starting a ground invasion into Gaza. But Israel has not withdrawn other options.


“I prefer a diplomatic solution,” Mr. Netanyahu said in a statement at the start of a meeting in Jerusalem with the German foreign minister, Guido Westerwelle. “I hope that we can get one, but if not, we have every right to defend ourselves with other means and we shall use them.


Isabel Kershner reported from Jerusalem; Peter Baker from Phnom Penh, Cambodia; and Rick Gladstone from New York. Reporting was contributed by Jodi Rudoren and Fares Akram from Gaza City, David D. Kirkpatrick from Cairo, Ethan Bronner from Jerusalem and David E. Sanger from Washington.



This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: November 20, 2012

Because of an editing error, an earlier version of this article misspelled the family name of the Israeli soldier who was killed in a Palestinian rocket attack on Tuesday. He is Yosef Fartuk, not Yosef Faruk. 



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Who Are the ‘Anti-Israel’ Press Behind Rupert Murdoch’s Twitter Attack?
















Rupert Murdoch can apologize (as he sort of did) about his “Jewish-owned press” tweet, but he still can’t take it back. And because that tweet is out there, the big question now—after “Why is he still on there?” and “Wow, that’s really offensive, right?”—is which press, exactly, he was referring to. Here’s the tweet that Murdoch sent out on Saturday night: 



Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti- Israel in every crisis?













— Rupert Murdoch(@rupertmurdoch) November 18, 2012


After an avalanche of Twitter blowback, Murdoch soon faux-apologized…



“,Jewish owned press” have been sternly criticised, suggesting link to Jewish reporters.Don’t see this, but apologise unreservedly.


— Rupert Murdoch(@rupertmurdoch) November 18, 2012


…”don’t see this” being Murdochian for faux-apology.


RELATED: Rupert Murdoch Brightens Every Newsroom He Enters


As the initial round of shock wears off (The Daily Beast’s Peter Beinart eloquently wrote about how stupid and offensive this tweet was), journalists and editors are now actually trying to make some kind of sense of which outlet or outlets Murdoch may have gotten all drunk-uncle-at-Thanksgiving over. So, with the help of journalists on the case, here’s our best attempt at “Murdoch Whispering“: 


RELATED: How U.K. Tabloids Are Getting Around Prince Harry’s Nudity Warning


He Is Talking About The New York Times Foreign Policy’s Blake Hounshell put it succinctly: 



FWIW Murdoch was probably referring to the NYT with that weird tweet.


— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) November 18, 2012


And it was shared be Buzzfeed’s Ben Smith:



Wolff also assumes, as I did, that Murdoch’s Jewish-owned press meant the Times guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/…


— Ben Smith (@BuzzFeedBen) November 19, 2012


The reason Smith, Hounshell, and The Guardian‘s Michael Wolff all think it’s a Times-centered attack isn’t just because of an anti-Semitic slam against the Sulzbergers (more on this in a tiny bit) but because of Murdoch’s various “wars” and his rivalry with The New York Times. Back in 2010, as Vanity Fair pointed out, Murdoch was warring with executive editor Bill Keller, and he was seen tweeting dissing the well-liked Times‘s public editor, Margaret Sullivan, not too long ago: 



Amusing fuss over NYT public editor.We see all two million daily subscribers as our very public editors.


— Rupert Murdoch(@rupertmurdoch) November 8, 2012


So maybe this tweet was another pot shot, albeit with more anti-Semitic tone. But as Wolff points out, being Jewish-owned doesn’t even apply to The Times anymore, which kinda makes it even more anti-Semitic if he was just going by the Sulzberger surname:



To describe the Times this way is both quizzical, and we can assume, pointed. Because, as it happens, the Times isn’t, per se, “Jewish”. True, the Sulzbergers, who control the company, were once a prominent Jewish family. But the Times’ chairman and publisher, Arthur Sulzberger, is half-Jewish (on his father’s side) and was raised as an Episcopalian. Murdoch knows this full well. So what he is saying is something more like “Jewish-tainted press”, which, all in all, seems more, not less, antisemitic.



He Was Talking About CNN and the AP If you go to the New York Times report on the whole thing that might be referring to The Times, they point to CNN and the AP. “In an earlier message he had said, “CNN and AP bias to point of embarrassment,” writes The Times‘s Amy Chozick.


RELATED: New York Times Devours Gothamist


He Was Channeling Wendi’s Broken English and Trolling His ‘Minders’ “Curiously, Murdoch’s wife Wendi often uses the word ‘Jewish’in an atonal context – ‘You Jewish, right? I know you Jewish!’– that makes Murdoch’s minders jump.  He may even become more retrograde to bedevil his minders.” wrote Wolff. Based on a life experience which includes very blunt Asian relatives and a large extended family, there is a definite possibility that Wendi might not know how harsh  ”You Jewish, right?” comes off. It’s hard to say the same for Rupert.


RELATED: The Vatican Gets Trendy: Puts Newspaper Online, Plans a Paywall


He Wasn’t Talking About Mother Jones‘s Adam Weinstein: 



*I* don’t own any media. You laid me off in 2008. RT @rupertmurdoch: Why Is Jewish owned press so consistently anti-Israel in every crisis?


— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) November 18, 2012


Social Media News Headlines – Yahoo! News



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Jenna von Oy Blogs: The Importance of Mommy Me-Time

Celebrity blogger Jenna von Oy is a new mama!


Best known for her roles as Six on Blossom and Stevie on The Parkers, von Oy is also a musician who has released two albums and is set to publish a book, The Betweeners.


von Oy, 35, wed Brad Bratcher on Oct. 10, 2010, and resides in Nashville with her husband and five dogs.


They welcomed their first child, daughter Gray Audrey, on May 21. She is now almost 6 months old.


In her latest blog, von Oy reflects on the important of taking time for yourself.


You can find her on Facebook and Twitter @JennavonOy, as well as posting on her weekly blog, The Cradle Chronicles.


Jenna von Oy's Blog: The Importance of Mommy Me-Time
Gray and I – attached at the hip! – Courtesy Jenna von Oy



Any mom who tells you she absolutely never has alone time is either lying or damn-near ready to be fitted for her straightjacket! I must admit it is getting increasingly more difficult to find time for myself in the midst of the madness. Now that Gray is almost six months old, it seems as though her naptime is getting shorter and shorter with each day that passes. Consequently, it is difficult to attend to my daily “chores.”


There are mornings I long for a shower so badly that I could wail my way through an entire box of tissue, though I concede it might be better spent cleaning off the drool and snot. And while I’m certain the lingering Eau de Spit-up is attractive all on its own, some days I simply look in the mirror, huff audibly, and decide a combination of deodorant and perfume will just have to do.


It’s the perfect accompaniment to my sweatpants, T-shirt, and un-brushed hair, I suppose. (I might have refrained from admitting all of that aloud, if I didn’t suspect many of you could say the same!)


We’ve all seen the candid photographs of celebrities out shopping with their kids, nursing a latte in one hand while pushing a stroller with the other. I am befuddled by the folks who manage to look eternally composed during those outings! Apparently, I am not a card-carrying member of the calm, cool and collected club. I’m thankful the paparazzi aren’t as prevalent here in Nashville, as I undoubtedly wouldn’t fair as well.


But it’s the life of a mother, isn’t it? It’s wonderful and, simultaneously, dirty work. And it’s no secret that I love it, despite my current inability to remain clean for longer than two consecutive minutes. If showering is so abysmally tough to conjure up the time for, exercising the right to have some “mommy me-time” is as farfetched as a cow jumping over the moon. (Or anything jumping over the moon, for that matter…)


But it’s an absolute necessity — for all of us! None of us is exempt from the urge to take a few moments to regroup. Warning: our sanity may be at stake if we don’t!


I know, I know, “me-time” sounds like a miracle, to say the least … something akin to winning the lottery twice or seeing the Virgin Mary on a loaf of Wonder bread. If shaving my legs has become a thing of the past, you ask, how can I possibly find time to do something relaxing such as curling up with a good novel or sipping tea in front of the bay window? The simple (but, as you know, not so simple at all) answer is: you make time. For your sake and the sake of your children!


I certainly don’t purport to be mother-of-the-year, nor am I an authority on the subject; I just know my own innate thirst for serenity. It’s imperative. Consider it this way: a car requires gas or it risks stalling in the middle of a busy intersection, right? Without refueling, I find myself doing much the same thing. My frustration levels peak and I fear I can’t be an effective parent.


Mind you, I’m painfully aware that this is easier said than done. Like most of you out there, I don’t have a nanny or easily found babysitters. My parents and in-laws don’t live close enough to stop by at a moment’s notice so they can take care of Gray while I “luxuriate.” Not to mention, separation anxiety has begun to rear its ugly head lately — for both Gray and I. I barely have enough time to get my work done, much less rest!


I am my child’s full-time guardian, so my time is devoted to her … and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Having the ability to spend each day with Gray is something I feel both blessed and passionate about. But everyone has a desire for some time to themselves, including yours truly, and I expect that the future will prove it harder and harder to come by.


How would you bide your time if you had one hour a day to do anything you wish? Forget laundry, or sweeping the floor, or feeding the dogs, or eating lunch. Those are all necessities. I’m referring to one solid hour for something that makes you take a deep breath and unwind.


Jenna von Oy's Blog: The Importance of Mommy Me-Time
Writing my blog – Courtesy Jenna von Oy


If I had my druthers, I might spend my me-time sipping a gorgeous glass of Chateau Margaux and whipping up a Cassoulet. Cooking is my therapy, so I’d chop and mince to my heart’s content! I might light some candles and draw a bubble bath, hit up the vintage stores, pen a new song, or work on editing my book for publication (which, sadly, I’ve been neglecting for months now). I might even knit a shawl or begin a photography project.


It all sounds dreamy but, alas, I know none of those things are in the cards any time soon. Don’t get me wrong — my husband is amazing at taking care of our little one for a while in the evenings so I can get a few things accomplished — but lo’ and behold, that obligatory shower generally wins out in the election process! I imagine you can sympathize.


And I don’t want to ignore the fact that my husband should have some downtime as well. He gets up at 5:00 every morning and works until 5:00 in the evening. Daddies need quiet time too! Sometimes, to take the edge off, we try to combine household projects with activities we enjoy.


For instance, Brad often fires up his iPod with a favorite music list and mows the lawn. Combining the outdoors with tunes and physical labor makes him zone out blissfully. Other times, he irons while watching political discourse on his computer. Of course, I can’t swear this relaxes him, per se. I’m often surprised his work shirts don’t have holes burned into them in the shape of certain outspoken, ostentatious commentators. That said, at least he’s found a way to enjoy the mundane task at hand.


My mom recently flew in to visit us for two weeks and I can’t express how grateful I was for her assistance. She offered that my husband and I take advantage of her presence by doing a few things for ourselves. As heartbreaking as it was to leave our daughter for an hour or two, we took her up on it and went on a beautiful dinner date.


I also got to do something special that I’ve been hungering for … I had a massage!!!! I’d set aside some money I received for my birthday in May, and swore I’d eventually get around to using it for that purpose alone. Talk about quality “me-time!” I almost wept with relief as the massage therapist worked my shoulders and back. Breastfeeding definitely takes its toll! It was an incredible blessing to enjoy such an extravagance, and I can’t thank my mom enough for making it possible.


It has been a bit of a struggle, but I’m learning to appreciate and accept the help that is offered to me. I want to be Supermom, but I know sometimes that means allocating some time to concentrate on my own peace of mind. I’m often too quick to turn down proposals of assistance, because I fret about taking advantage of friends or family. I worry it means I “can’t handle” my own life. But that’s probably just my ego talking.


Hearing about a growing number of women with postpartum depression makes me recognize my own demand for quietude. Reserving personal time for my needs is crucial for my health and helps to cut down on my stress level. This means I can be a better mother to my daughter and a more supportive wife to my husband.


I’m not even remotely claiming to be a doctor, but I imagine most of them would be avid proponents of mommy me-time … even when it is tough to come by. Sometimes I think the most selfless thing you can do is concentrate on yourself for a few minutes. It may seem counterintuitive, but it allows you to attack the day with a sense of calm. I can certainly speak to that. I know I’m a more confident and even-keeled parent when I have a few minutes to recharge my emotional batteries!


In a way, contributing to this blog (as well as my weekly blog, The Cradle Chronicles) has become an integral part of my me-time maintenance. I covet the moments I am able to devote to purging my thoughts onto paper. If you’re wondering why my posts are typically so long-winded, there’s your answer! I long for the moments spent furiously typing away on my laptop. This has become a comforting creative outlet that I treasure, and I appreciate you being a part of it with me.


Jenna von Oy's Blog: The Importance of Mommy Me-Time
Reading with Ruby – Courtesy Jenna von Oy


Wishing you all a few moments of blissful respite this week…


Until next time,


– Jenna von Oy


More from Jenna’s PEOPLE.com blog series:


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Meningitis mainly affects infants and children. It kills about 8 percent of patients and leaves others with lifelong consequences such as brain damage.

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